Sun-bloody-tastic!

Well that's it, then, isn't it? I’ve made it - I’ve hit the big time - a double page spread in the Sun! First thing this morning the phone rings, it's my mum, she says ‘Oh my God Louie, you are so bloody famous! Have you seen the Sun?’ I'm like, ‘Seen it? I bought every copy!’

You see, to us, and when I say us I mean the people of Great Britain, well, it's a bible, isn't it? I mean, from Croydon to the Costas, everyone buys the Sun, and if you say you don't, you're lying. And even if you don't buy it, we’ve all seen you suits have a quick spy on page 3 when it’s left on the train on the way home.

I mean, it makes sense, doesn't it, in modern day living? 20p for a paper, and something you can read in comfort, not like those newspapers as long as a carriage for which you need a degree in folding to turn the page.

We've all seen them, haven't we, on the train, flipping it this way, flapping it that way, bending it, in bending it out (and that’s just the paper)? I mean, really, it's unnecessary.

For those of you who haven’t tried to read one of those papers (the big ones I'm talking about, that take up a carriage), well, in fact I think they can take up your life. Because by the time you get to what they are trying to say, it's been that long-winded for them to get to the point, you forget what you started to read in the beginning. And I can guarantee you, normally it will end in some word as long as the alphabet that no one has ever heard, not even the journalist, I’m sure.

But my point is… I've made it! A double page spread in the Sun, and apart from my mum ringing me first thing this morning, my cousin Ashley on the burger van has just texted me saying all the lorry drivers are raving about my spread; they can't get enough of me. I did ask if one of them was called Dave, that’s the only lorry driver I’ve ever met.

I said, give them a burger on me, darling, I’m on me way up! I'll send you a cheque in the post.

Oh, one other thing, because I’m not meant to be blogging today, I’m meant to be rehearsing for the O2. I have told u about the O2 haven't I?

I had a fabulous evening at Celebrity Juice - I was on Fearne's team, you’ll see tonight who wins. Holly had Louis Walsh and Louise Redknapp on her team, and Fearne had the personality (me) and the comic genius Paddy McGuinness.

You see, there was a problem – what with all the Lous in the house, and I don’t mean the ones you p*** in, Keith would ask a question starting with 'Lou', and before he had a chance to finish it, I answered straight away (because I read the Sun, you see, so I knew all the answers).

I didn't give him a chance to end the name in Lou-is or Lou-ise; all I needed to hear was a Lou, and without missing a beat, 5, 6, 7, 8, I blurted out the answer, giving them a point.

Honestly, my mouth sometimes, I must learn to breathe. Or just hold my breath, it would help, I think, in these situations; or just keep my mouth shut!

And on that note, I’m shutting up and going to rehearse for the O2, which is tomorrow night. I have mentioned the O2, haven’t I? I’m not nervous about it, the O2 that is.

'Til next week!

Love you and leave you, xxx