Forty One and Fabulous!

And why wouldn't it be? The sun is out, the daffodils are blooming, and I feel more radiant than ever! And why? Because I'm worth it! Move over Cheryl - if L'Oréal can have a Geordie, babe, they can have a poof with a lisp! If anyone from L'Oréal is reading, feel free to get in touch, I look great with a weave too!

No, but really, what a glorious day I have woken up to! My life is already perfect, as I tweeted last night - what more do you want? Health, happiness, and someone who loves you - I've got it all. But I suppose there's always more, isn't there? There's Kylie and her retweets to me, "Plus high kicks to die for!! hahaaa!!" Sorry, did I mention Kylie again? I must not stop doing that!

So, what am I doing on my special day, I hear you all asking? Well, it's work, work, work! I'm here at the studios 'til 12, then off to Grazia magazine to go through a few bits that we're doing together - I'll let you know when it's out. It's bound to be fabulous, isn't it? I mean, really! Then off to lunch at The Ivy with Debbie Moore, OBE - it's going to be burger and chips for me all the way. After, a bit of shopping, then deciding where I'm going on holiday - it's going to be lastminute.com for me, they always seem to have something great on offer.

I'm loving you and leaving you - I know this is a short blog, but Interflora have never had such a busy day! I must go and receive my boxes and bouquets, and honestly some things are turning up that, well... I thought it was a totem pole! I'll leave you to work that one out, but I don't think it's something you'd be dancing around. All I've got to say is it would take your breath away!

Oh, and also, how could I forget? You all know I'm big in the Sun, don't you, the people's paper, as I mentioned in one of my previous blogs? And I did say how difficult it was to read those big papers, you know the ones I mean, like the Observer and The Guardian? Like I said, they do take up a whole carriage on the train. Well, I'm sorry, I'm backtracking and rewinding on that one. It's amazing how comfortable those big papers can get when you're in them - The Observer magazine on Sunday, and The Guardian on Monday! It really does seem that I'm reaching out to the whole nation, doesn't it?

And what is my message? Live life to the full! Love yourself, and love those who love you. And I love you all.

Happy Birthday to me!




Love Louie xxx

Pump up your jam!

I’ve finished pumping up the biceps at the gym – just arrived at Pineapple. I’m having a quick download with Annika, Caleb and Laura about my goings on, so I thought I might as well kill two birds with one stone and let you all know!

I had a really funny morning at The Wright Stuff but I thought it was all going to go wrong when they said they wanted me to read something from The Guardian. I’ve never even had my chips wrapped in it, let alone read it! But my saving grace was The Sun, when the next story I had to read out was about some man who had an erection for three weeks. I didn’t need to read the story, I just thought it was unnecessary and greedy, and it’s sure to make your blood pressure drop. And that’s not good for anyone, is it? Is it?

Then things really got moving! The third story was about twelve year old boys not using condoms, so they’ve made extra small ones for them. Like any twelve to fourteen year old boy is going to ask for an extra small condom. It’s something us boys learn very quickly, when it comes to the size of your willy, we all know the average inch triples. I’m sure that many of you ladies out there have found that out and gone straight back to your bunnies!

And don’t get me sidetracked about topiary down there. For the men I mean! It’s just unnecessary – I mean, you can gain at least three inches if you trim back. Anyway, back to me, sorry, I’m sidetracking.

I really shouldn’t be talking about this kind of thing at 9.20am, when I’m off to do Angela and Friends with her nice Ikea set. There’s nothing wrong with Ikea but I must admit Habitat does last longer. It does cost a little bit more, but you do get what you pay for!

It’s like me; my personal appearance fee was, well, whatever I could get! Now look at me! Send me an Addison Lee, cheese and pickle sandwich and a packet of salt and vinegar, I’m there like lightning. Brown wholemeal bread of course!

Apparently they are doing something fashiony today with A&F (Angela and Friends, you’ve got that, haven’t you?) They took my sizes and everything over the phone. I hope they don’t try and get me anything designer, like your Gucci’s or your Prada’s.

I’m much happier in a Top Man, Zara, or Primani. I tell you why – because they fit! I find their sizes accurate, unlike your top end designers, who will say it’s a small when really it’s a medium. And you know why this is? Because those people with that kind of disposable income always get told what they want, even about their appearance, and I think it’s wrong, don’t you? You get down Top Man and I tell you what you get there. Some bloody good looking staff that you want to put on an intravenous drip!

And on that note, I’m off to Top Man!