Monday, 15 March 2010

What a Wonderful World!

You need to keep up to speed, I'm not backtracking. Things are moving way too fast and I'm riding it like a rocket!

As I said when I left you last, I had two press interviews and I was off to Harry Hill. The press interview was fabulous! I terrorised a very handsome young cameraman who was filming the whole thing for Sky Magazine. I know I shouldn't but I just couldn't help myself.

I was then whisked off to Harry Hill; lucky you're not sitting in front of me while I say 'whisked' this early in the morning. Honestly, you would need a shield in front of your face like they use at the hairdressers before they attack you with Elnett. It takes a bit of time for my tongue to warm up in the morning, but everything else is fine.

As those of you who were watching Harry Hill would have seen, my pussy was quite impressive, once I'd choked up my fur ball. I'm getting to feel quite at home with Harry, me old mate! Sorry, I should say award winning Harry Hill! Anyway, enough about him, back to me.

Friday morning, a meeting about the O2 show, which I will be hosting. Have I told you about that or not? Yes, yes, yes! I'm hosting the O2! I'm trying not to think about it too much at the moment, it's one day at a time. And talking about time, I ain't got time to think about it!

Let me tell you about Friday, Saturday and Sunday. I'm going to make this quick, because I want to get back to today, Monday, so I can run you through my busy schedule.

Friday, after the O2 meeting (did I mention I'm hosting the O2?) - oh, I did? Fine. At 6 O'clock I met Carmine at The Ivy - sorry, how could I miss out Laura? (gasp!) - me, Laura and Carmine. Do I need to explain that Carmine is Jake Canuso, who plays the waiter in the hit show Benidorm, which I have already mentioned in one of my blogs?

So, it was burger and chips for me and Carmine, and two bottles of rosé, thank you very much - Laura was on her liquid diet again, as per usual. I know why I always have a two glass of wine quota - because I just lose myself; like I'm not pretty full on anyway.

Let me tell you what happened. There I was on my third glass of rosé when a very handsome TV executive (I presume, because I'm very big in TV circles at the moment - apparently I'm hot, hot, hot!) said to me 'I'm loving you in your show'. I didn't interject and tell him that it isn't my show - there's a whole load of other people in it.

I pointed to his friend and said very theatrically and loudly, 'And I love Gary Lucy!' With an awkward laugh he made his way back to his friend. Carmine had tears of laughter rolling down his face at this point, for a reason unbeknown to me, until he caught his breath enough to spit out that it wasn't Gary Lucy at all, it was Will Mellor, from Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps, thank you very much. Oh well, shit happens!

On finishing my third glass of rosé, that naughty Miss Bunton (that's Emma Bunton, I have mentioned her, haven't I, that she's one of my best friends?) called to ask if we would like to join her at another bar for a few drinks? We agreed and got out of there as quick as poss, after my Gary Lucy / Will Mellor mistake at The Ivy Club.

Oh dear, the fresh air hit, I got that floating-on-air feeling and I couldn't quite get my tongue around my lisp. Now that's a worry. It was water all the way for me from then on, and another wonderful evening with Miss Bunton and her gorgeous partner Mr Jade Jones, who we all love.

Oh, did I mention? We were also with Leigh Francis, better known as Keith Lemon or Avid Merrion, who you can imagine is also great fun to be out with! I managed 'til about midnight with these guys. I know it all sounds very glamorous being at a private members' club in Berkeley Square, but when you've got a schedule like mine you've got to know when it's time to go, and it was about midnight for me.

Early to rise, on Saturday I popped down to Move It at Olympia in London, which was great. I watched some amazing dancers and loads of people came up to me and said how much they are enjoying the show. Everyone was so lovely!

Sunday I spent with my gorgeous husband (because I am married you know - well, civil partnership) who helped me go through my lines for my audition today for a feature film. Did I mention? Oh, I didn't? I'll let you know how it all goes.

Gotta go now, I need to look at my script one more time. I'll come back to you as soon as I can, and I'll fill you in (not literally) about my other commitments this week, like my shoot for a two double-pages spread in Heat magazine, the Alan Titchmarsh Show, Celebrity Juice, and my many radio interviews.

Who would have thought it? So much interest in a 40 year old, well-toned may I add, homosexual! What a wonderful world we live in!



  1. Me and my boyfriend absolutely love watching you on Pineapple Dance Studios, that TV Exec was right, it is your show! How fab would it be if you got your own spin off?

    Oh me how I wish I had your life!

  2. Please Louie - ring Christian O'Connell on Absolute Radio. You could raise £10,000.00 for a charity of your choice! The number is 0330 123 1215 and you need to call between 6 - 10 a.m. Please, please - thank you - June XX

  3. You are fab - long may you reign on our screens. Very watchable!

  4. I absolutely Luuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurve you!

  5. You are so funny! I love watching that show because of you!

  6. You brighten my day,thankyou.

  7. Louie Spence is GAY!!!!

  8. Louie, you are me, just trapped in an aging 33 year-old, pear-shaped female body... How do you stay in such fabulous shape?? X

  9. AMAZING Dancing Im Your Number 1 Fan.